


The Biomed Plan

by covetsubjugation



Series: The Infamous Story of 'The Squad' [47]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:44:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8156119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covetsubjugation/pseuds/covetsubjugation
Summary: "aaron burrDid none of you remember to collect your dildos"*John isn't happy. That is unacceptable.





	

**the squad**  
_aaron burr, angel, ayyyymaria, baguette fucker, better than you, disney god, dosiaaa, eliza, fight me, get ur own dicc, jamesmadd, peggy_

 **better than you**  
today is a good day

 **angel**  
@ **baguette fucker** @ **disney god** @ **get ur own dicc** my condolences

 **disney god**  
???

 **angel**  
oh i just assumed if thomas is happy it’s because alex has died

 **fight me**  
i just flipped off my phone

 **angel**  
i will take that as a compliment

 **better than you**  
anYWAY  
my neighbours are away so they asked me to dogsit for them

 **eliza**  
PUPPER  
SHOW ME

 **better than you  
** dogs are great honestly  
i love dogs

 **peggy**  
so you are a very strong dog person then

 **better than you**  
dogs are better than cats

 **angel**  
listen here you little shit

 **eliza**  
okaaaayyyy that’s enough

 **better than you**  
these dogs are so huge and fluffy  
i love them

 **fight me**  
i didn’t know thomas was capable of love

 **better than you**  
say what you like but i am currently surrounded by huge dogs and i am happy

 **fight me**  
i hope they don’t smother you in their sleep  
and i am going home to my partners now so suck it i’m happier

 **disney god**  
that’s a very strange time to say “suck it”

 **fight me**  
point still stands  
is that muffled screaming i hear  
also why is john lying on the sofa face down

 **disney god**  
his dad called again this morning

 **baguette fucker**  
correction: he is still on the phone  
i’ve been assigned to phone watching while john takes a break to scream into the pillows

 **fight me**  
that’s kinda evident now  
john would like me to inform you he hates his father

 **better than you**  
rude

 **disney god**  
not really just cause your dad was nice to you doesn’t mean everyone’s dads were nice to them

 **baguette fucker**  
also alex can you take over phone watching duties because me and herc are late to meet theo

 **dosiaaa**  
you’re going to be late??

 **baguette fucker**  
er… no?

 **dosiaaa**  
fine i’m going to go sit in starbucks until you show up

 **disney god**  
you’re a treasure theodosia bartow

 **dosiaaa**  
i am fully aware

*

 **better than you**  
HERCULES MULLIGAN  
TOO-LONG-TO-TYPE-NAME LAFAYETTE  
DID YOU GUYS CLEAN UP ALL THE DILDOS FROM THE TIME YOU CAME TO MY HOUSE

 **baguette fucker**  
i believe we were laughing too hard to be functional at the time  
i think aaron did though

 **aaron burr**  
And very little appreciation was shown for my act

 **better than you**  
OKAY SURE BUT DID YOU CLEAN UP ALL OF IT  
NO NEED TO ANSWER BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW  
IT’S A NO  
YOU LEFT ALL OF THEM HERE

 **aaron burr**  
Did none of you remember to collect your dildos  
That is a sentence I never thought I would say

 **disney god**  
i thought you did @baguette fucker

 **baguette fucker**  
i thought you did  
well  
oops?

 **better than you**  
OOPS MY ASS  
THE DOGS GOT A HOLD OF IT  
OR RATHER THEM  
AND NOW I’M CHASING A BUNCH OF DOGS WITH DILDOS IN THEIR MOUTH AROUND MY HOUSE

 **peggy**  
i regret that i’m not there to see it

 **ayyyymaria**  
think of the glorious snapchats that could be taken

 **fight me**  
sAME

 **better than you**  
FUCK ALL OF YOU  
NOW I NEED TO FIND ALL THE DILDOS AND GET RID OF THEM BEFORE MY PARENTS/SIBLINGS COME HOME

 **fight me**  
you have siblings???  
better than you  
why do you think there are so many bedrooms at my house?

 **fight me**  
i thought it’s a rich people thing

 **get ur own dicc**  
how many siblings do you have?

 **better than you**  
9

 **fight me**  
YOUR PARENTS HAVE 10 CHILDREN???

 **get ur own dicc**  
your parents are really free

 **better than you**  
i don’t have time for this i have to go find dildos

 **disney god**  
anyway,,,,  
dildos,,,, aside,,,,  
remember i invited all of you to my ballet performance  
well we set a date  
and it’s in november

 **baguette fucker**  
november??  
start or end

 **disney god**  
start  
well mid  
why

 **baguette fucker**  
i’m in france then  
my love i’m sorry

 **disney god**  
oh  
that’s okay!!  
i still love you

 **baguette fucker**  
i’m so sorry!!

 **disney god**  
it’s still okay!!  
but the rest of you are coming right

 **peggy**  
i’ll try to come up from dc

 **ayyyymaria**  
i’ll be there!

 **fight me**  
yeah i’m free

 **angel**  
yup

 **dosiaaa**  
we’re coming too!!

*

 **Lafayette**  
_online_

honestly where are you and herc  
i am almost done with my coffee

sorry i was making a final adjustment to the dress –herc  
we’re on our way promise

i should hope so  
if you don’t get here before i finish my coffee you are buying me another one

aren’t we already buying you lunch

yes  
as payment for taking photos  
this is for making me wait  
tick tock my friends i am nearing whip cream territory

!!! –h  
okay that’s not fair

then you shouldn’t have been late

*

wE'RE HERE  
YOU LIED YOUR DRINK IS NOWHERE NEAR FINISHED

yes but it was motivation for you to reach here faster

i feel vaguely cheated –h

you didn’t even buy me a drink chill  
let’s go take photos

*

THIS PROCESS WOULD GO A LOT FURTHER IF YOU DIDN’T STOP TO MAKE OUT WITH HERCULES EVERY FIVE MINUTES

they’re leaving the country!!! –h

IN A MONTH  
THEY’RE LEAVING IN A MONTH  
AND THEY ARE COMING BACK  
CAN YOU LET ME DO MY JOB  
WHICH IMPACTS YOUR JOB IF I MAY ADD

fine –h  
you’re no fun

*

 **Aaron Burr <3**  
_online_

Hey, I’m coming over to the shoot in a while  
Everything okay?

we’re nowhere near done but yeah we’re fine  
see you in a while x

x

*

 **Lafayette**  
_online_

YOU CAN’T YELL AT ME AND HERCULES AND THEN START MAKING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN HE SHOWS UP  
THIS WORKS BOTH WAYS MON AMIE

it’s payment?

h y p o c r i t i c a l

finE

*

how many times can you adjuST A SCARF OMG  
are you just fucking with me at this point

possibly –h

*

 **Hercules <3**  
_online_

laf you’ll only see this later  
but you are so beautiful omg  
i am ready for death  
i love you sm  
if i loved you anymore i would literally die  
and you are taking the time to help me with my business  
well you and theo  
i am so thankful  
god i love you  
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

AAAAA

*

 **Lafayette**  
_online_

and the shoot is finally done

so i can make out with my boyfriend now?

i guess  
jesUs we’re in publiC

*

 **get john into biomed!!!**  
_aaron burr, angel, ayyyymaria, baguette fucker, better than you, disney god, dosiaaa, eliza, fight me, jamesmadd, peggy_

_fight me has created the group “get john into biomed!!!”_

_fight me has added aaron burr into the group_

_fight me has added angel into the group_

_fight me has added ayyyymaria into the group_

_fight me has added baguette fucker into the group_

_fight me has added better than you into the group_

_fight me has added disney god into the group_

_fight me has added dosiaaa into the group_

_fight me has added eliza into the group_

_fight me has added jamesmadd into the group_

_fight me has added peggy into the group_

**fight me**  
oKay i cannot bear to see john this sad all the time  
and while i like having him in my class  
i don’t want him there if he isn’t happy being there  
so!!  
ideas!!

 **jamesmadd**  
jeez i just got back from the museum

 **eliza**  
ooh how was it??

 **ayyyymaria**  
you didn’t bring me along??

 **jamesmadd**  
it was really nice??  
all the artwork is gr8  
i love art

 **fight me**  
we’re still discussing something here

 **jamesmadd**  
righT go on

 **aaron burr**  
I mean it’s quite obvious that the problem is John’s father  
So you are going to need to talk to him first of all

 **fight me**  
he refuses to let john transfer  
and won’t listen to him

 **angel**  
so we need to convince him

 **disney god**  
he has mentioned he doesn’t think biomed will lead to a stable career  
and he thinks if john can’t handle himself in law he can’t handle biomed

 **better than you**  
so john needs to get better scores in law

 **peggy**  
i mean that’s easy to say but he hates law  
how are you going to study if you hate it

 **better than you**  
you just gotta suck it up

 **baguette fucker**  
full offence you’re being very unhelpful

 **aaron burr**  
I have to say I agree with Thomas on this

 **baguette fucker**  
is this an opinion

 **aaron burr**  
Do you want my help or not  
Look if John’s father needs proof he can handle himself in biomed then he will need to see said proof  
So over the next term you all have to help John buck up in law

 **eliza**  
but what if you didn’t need to wait for the next term

 **angel**  
what are you suggesting

 **eliza**  
how bad are john’s results exactly

 **fight me**  
it’s like a 3.0

 **peggy**  
i’m not in college so i may be wrong but that’s not a terrible score?

 **fight me**  
john’s dad has very high standards

 **eliza**  
that fits the transfer requirements right  
so what if we prove john can handle biomed  
and then we show john’s dad that biomed is actually pretty rad and he agrees to let john transfer

 **aaron burr**  
But how are you going to prove that John can handle biomed?

 **disney god**  
john has quite a strong foundation in science from like high school  
so it should translate to being good in biomed?

 **better than you**  
okay that’s not necessarily true and you know that  
and eliza so you are basically asking us to act as reps for biomed

 **eliza**  
essentially

 **better than you**  
i would still argue that john should focus on bringing his gpa up in law before we try to convince his dad to transfer him

 **angel**  
or you could try both plans  
you could idk ask the head of biomed to take a look at john and have them give an appraisal of whether john would suit biomed  
and then we try to convince john’s dad with his current grades ft the appraisal  
and if that doesn’t work we use thomas’ plan

 **ayyyymaria**  
but do we meet with the head of biomed  
whoever they are

 **fight me**  
i have an idea

_fight me has added gwashington_

**gwashington**  
Why am I here?  
Oh no

 **peggy**  
i’m not sure whether i should feel proud or disappointed in us all that this is the reaction george washington has upon seeing us all

 **angel**  
go with the latter

 **fight me**  
hello sir  
we need a favour

 **gwashington**  
I already want to say no

 **fight me**  
you haven’t even heard what the favour is

 **gwashington**  
Nevertheless, I already want to say no

 **fight me**  
sir

 **gwashington**  
Fine, what is it

 **dosiaaa**  
i’ve never seen alex interact with washington before  
don’t you work for him alex  
how are you not fired yet

 **gwashington**  
That last question baffles the best of us

 **fight me**  
sir,,,,  
i’m sure you noticed that john’s performance has been a bit ,,,,lacklustre,,,, when it comes to law

 **gwashington**  
Not really, seeing as I have to deal with hundreds of other students as a member of the school board

 **baguette fucker**  
well the reason john hasn’t been performing well in law is that he doesn’t actually enjoy being there  
he would rather be in biomed

 **gwashington**  
I see

 **angel**  
however, john’s father, henry laurens, isn’t willing to allow john to transfer to biomed  
and we thought perhaps you could help us

 **gwashington**  
I am not clear on what role you wish me to play in this

 **fight me**  
well one of henry laurens’ concerns is that john would not be able to handle biomed, seeing as he is underperforming in law

 **gwashington**  
The obvious solution in this seems to be for John Laurens to improve his performance in his studies

 **better than you**  
see, told you

 **baguette fucker**  
again not very helpful thomas

 **fight me**  
yes but we were hoping that you could help us to arrange a meeting with the head of biomed so that they could meet with john and judge if he would suit biomed  
(which he would)

 **aaron burr**  
If the head of biomed agrees that John would be suited with biomed, it might help to convince Henry Laurens to approve of John’s transfer

 **gwashington**  
Burr, you’re in on this too?

 **aaron burr**  
It would seem so

 **gwashington**  
My word

 **fight me**  
will you help us?

 **disney god**  
please?

 **fight me**  
yes that

 **gwashington**  
Fine, I’ll see what I can do

 **fight me**  
!!!  
thank you sir

 **gwashington**  
Anytime  
Actually, no, not anytime  
This is not an invitation to ask me for more favours

 **aaron burr**  
Understood, sir

 **better than you**  
finAlly i cleared up all the dildos  
thanks herc and laf

 **gwashington**  
What

 **better than you**  
er nothing sir

 **fight me**  
okay so now we need to meet with henry laurens  
peggy he will be at that fundraiser you’re going to right

 **peggy**  
yeah

 **fight me**  
excellent  
@ **gwashington** sir

 **gwashington**  
Are you literally going to ask me for another favour  
What did I just say  
Should I just not speak

 **fight me**  
can i be assigned to cover this fundraiser

 **eliza**  
um no offence alex but do you honestly think that is a good idea  
you meeting henry laurens  
i mean a) it’s you  
and b) you are john’s boyfriend  
you know the one that henry doesn’t know exists

 **fight me**  
i could just go as a concerned friend

 **angel**  
hold up  
are you implying that you are going to  
tone it down

 **fight me**  
um  
yes?

 **better than you**  
is that even possible

 **fight me**  
look i love john alright  
and i would do anything for him  
i would do anything for my boyfriend i would do anything for the poly squad i would do anything for my friends okay

 **angel**  
anything?

 **fight me**  
okay this is not the time for you to figure out what boundaries you can push

 **gwashington**  
I am inclined to agree with Elizabeth here, Alex  
It may be best if you are not there

 **fight me**  
fine

 **eliza**  
look angel, peggy and i will be there you don’t need to stress

 **disney god**  
have you met alex or  
all he does is stress

 **eliza**  
true i forgot who i was talking to a second

 **fight me**  
okay so is there a way that john can get his interview/appraisal thing without him noticing

 **aaron burr**  
Why would you want John to not notice

 **fight me**  
i don’t want to get his hopes up

 **better than you**  
you’re just making this plan more complicated than it needs to be

 **angel**  
it would be easier to just let john know

 **disney god**  
yeah that would be easier dear

_fight me has added get ur own dicc to the group_

**fight me**  
john we are going to get you into biomed

 **get ur own dicc**  
wtf  
what  
my dad won’t agree

 **fight me**  
which is something we are going to work on

 **baguette fucker**  
we’re going to have you meet the head of biomed for an appraisal so they can write you a glowing review

 **disney god**  
then we’re going to meet with your dad and make him see sense

 **eliza**  
and if all goes well you’re going to be in biomed before the term starts

 **better than you**  
and if that doesn’t work we are going to make you study law

 **get ur own dicc**  
excuse me?

 **aaron burr**  
What Thomas means is that we are going to help you study law and improve your grade so that we can prove to your father you can handle law, as well as biomed

 **get ur own dicc**  
oh  
that makes a lot more sense  
that’s really  
nice of you guys thank you

 **angel**  
it may not work but you know can’t hurt to try

 **fight me**  
angelica with the realism

 **angel**  
you asked for my help you will get the whole angelica package  
realism and all

 **gwashington**  
So is this plan finalised?

 **get ur own dicc**  
holy shit washington is helping too?

 **gwashington**  
Your friends were quite convincing  
Also, Alexander owes me a lot of favours after this

 **fight me**  
i do?

 **gwashington**  
Oh yes

 **fight me**  
if that’s the price i have to pay for john’s happiness

 **get ur own dicc**  
!!!

*

 **schuytow gc**  
_angel, dosiaaa, eliza_

 **dosiaaa**  
is there a reason i just came home and you two froze on your chairs and beds

 **eliza  
**...  
the floor is lava?

 **dosiaaa**  
,,,

 **angel**  
let me guess  
“are you kidding me?”

 **dosiaaa**  
actually  
can i join

 **eliza**  
if you can get on the bed without touching the floor

 **dosiaaa**  
watch me bitches

 **angel**  
holY SHIT  
HOW DID YOU JUMP SO FAR

 **dosiaaa**  
i was in track in high school  
don’t doubt me

 **eliza**  
i bow down to the gloriousness that is theodosia bartow

 **dosiaaa**  
damn right

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahaha what is English if my notes are full of grammar mistakes, I apologise. I've been writing since 7pm. It is now 12am. God help me.
> 
> My eyes are literally closing so let's go. Today's chapter was looked over by the Founding Failures™ squad, specifically Becca, Erin and Carla, because I no longer understand English. My husband and my children helped to make sure this chapter was understandable. (Husband and children refer to my betas.) (Also hello to the Founding Failures™ squad when they eventually read this.)
> 
> Formatting was a BITCH today. That's about all the news I have.
> 
> If you liked what you read today, leave comments and kudos. I like them. They are all I consume.
> 
> I am always on my fandom tumblr [here](http://bisexualexhamilton.tumblr.com), but you can also find me on my writing tumblr [here](http://covetsubjugation.tumblr.com). Come say hi!
> 
> Alright, that's it for today. See you soon!


End file.
